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May. 13th, 2008 @ 09:31 am REHAB show ---- blow out!
WEIRD gig last night. Sucks Mondays. We learn and move on.

Heads gashed, sushi eatin, flyer puttin, amp blowing, chopper kit destroying FUN! We are ROCK!

HOW WEIRD WAS THE COWSKULL THING? SYNCHRONISTIC. We are operating with forces unknown to the norm.

TOo many lights and no people made me feel odd. The haunt will be better and picking and choosing gigs is a major goal. This would have been amazing if RIOTGOD (MOSTER MAGNET) people were there- --it's why I booked the gig in the first place.


I need to paint today but I am tired. I will paint. I will paint.
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Apr. 11th, 2008 @ 09:37 pm (no subject)
This has been a hectic month. My grandparents (in-law) dies in a horrific car accident. This is the week my father died. My wife and her fathers birthday. Played my first show with my new band. Not caring about the changing weather, content staying inside painting and making music. I am the driving factor inmy band, I get the gigs, call the guys, design the flyers, post the flyers, look for bassists, run around, silk screen, brow beat, pay for shit, it's a lot of work I hope pays off one day. Respect is a hard thing to garner in music, but I am slowly getting there.

I painted this week. I have a private student, he's a rocker. I'm tired from overworking myself but I see value in working hard.
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Apr. 10th, 2008 @ 06:24 am (no subject)
just wanted to let you know that

I got into Parsons!!!

thanks for being one of my favorite artists ever

Jane
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Apr. 5th, 2008 @ 11:31 pm (no subject)
My wife's grandparents both died today in a head on collision -- I am very saddened. Loved them very much.
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Mar. 17th, 2008 @ 07:11 am (no subject)
Been some time since I wrote here. I have a commission, a show coming up, a gig on the 4th with my band and two classes to look forward teaching, a private student and I'm learning about silkscreen again. I'm setting up my studio to handle two ore three screens so I can do all Merch myself.

I've been playing COD4 too much and see it in my brain at night +5, +5.

My skin mysteriously stopped breaking out.

My band is getting tight --- go to myspace.com/castrosbeard
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Jan. 28th, 2008 @ 07:35 am (no subject)
Monday is always odd for me, coming from a weekend of relaxing-- having to create on Monday sometimes feels daunting. After seeing that guy fall on Friday, makes me not want to go out and walk around, I want to drive my kid to school today. So far I've had a guy run into my car and break his collar bone, crashed into a guy with a hand-truck on my bike, breaking my collar bone exactly one year later.

I'm rattled about that guy falling. Can't get it out of my mind. I've been trying to get it together but the gory vision is stuck. Last time something like this kept my brain from moving was my fathers death. I feel I've seen war between 911, watching those buildings burn and the two guys deaths.

On lighter note I'm painting again. Happy to be free of the block I was under, having time to paint makes me happy. I'm painting a lot of cows and birds now, pushing myself into a more narrative approach to my landscape work.

I wonder if anyone ever reads this, but care little. I thank you if you do, and I hope you enjoy reading random ramblings from a long hAIred fine-artist/musician.
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Jan. 25th, 2008 @ 07:34 pm (no subject)
I watched a man plummet to his death today on 6th ave and Waverly. He was a scoffolding worker, probobly illegal -- fell 3 stories to his demise. I ran to get the firetruck.
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Jan. 18th, 2008 @ 08:17 am (no subject)
 Rehearsal went well yesterday, even though I was still sick. I was way off, sloppy and not very into it -- though the music transcends the physical and created a harmony of mind and body -- until I stop playing... My head was really stuffed afterward....I don't think it showed.

I have to start a new epic masterpiece today -- I haven't painted something I love in a while, I need a springboard, one to get me to that next level.

I feel at peace with myself , encouraged to keep on going.
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Jan. 17th, 2008 @ 07:42 am (no subject)
Don't fool yourself, no one is reading your BLOG.

Funny in this age of information people still find the need to be an expert on subjects, to search out for adoration through intellect. I believe in the freedom of emotion and expression and see information as a byproduct of passion, nothing to do with spirit. 

High brow fools unite! Write Blogs!! We care?
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Jan. 15th, 2008 @ 09:02 am (no subject)
I kicked this colds ass.

Rest and bath... vitamin and eucalyptus....tea and libation make for Gavin a healthy day.

CHARACTER FLAW--- It's as simple as this -- when you have not seen someone for some time, ASK HOW THEIR CHILD IS.

Still perplexed as to why people act the way they do. In a world of psycho active drugs and doctors prescribing feel -me-good-now pills, diminishes the human experience of the mind. How can one shine when pharmaceuticals control mind, altering perception. If Van Gogh were to be on prozac or paxiloritan whatever name you give heroin, he would not have been Van Gogh -- but a layman and dreamer. Sad state of affairs this world is going through. Marijuana and drinking are fun but to be on pscho active drugs as a moral choice is the same as being a Junky for ego elation. Kurt Kobain became a junky to suppress the amount of feeling he had, in order to fade away and not be accountable for changing art as we know it. If given the choice, I will always chose nature over chemical.

What happened to self affirmation and inspiration through the spirit of life, chemical dependency on happiness? Weird shit.

I am one able to maintain a solid inspired edge, when surrounded by people doubting their own spirit, the doubt gets put on whomever the doubter is spending time with. MONITOR HOW YOU SPEND YOUR TIME PEOPLE.
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Jan. 14th, 2008 @ 05:24 pm (no subject)
Created another music video for my band -- painted trees a bit. Tomorrow hopefully I will feel a little better as my throat feels like shit. Sandpaperish, and I have to sing on thurs... I think I will be fine.

Inspiration is a tricky thing. Never wise to fool with such an idealistic virtue. An artist with cruel intent can trick another into believing inspiration is derived from commununion. It is derived from a deep understanding of self in this world, a place where you walk among those who feel as deep as you, and never challenge the predecessors values but admire and build on them.

I love life!
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Jan. 14th, 2008 @ 10:36 am Monday!
I'm back in studio, editing a video for my band and painting a scene of Huguenot St. -- a church in the vein of Corot, very central composition looks like a Childe Hassam actually.

I went drawing on Thursday with an old friend -- seemed to care little to inspire conversation.In fact, he seemed to not like me, or himself very much. I even put my walkman on to silence the silence as we drew. Too open and willing to endure, that will be the last time I let anyone get the best of me. I am a very inspired person who needs to watch who tries to poison this garden of delights ha-ha!

My music is going so well. I see it being very big, bigger than my painting in time. I am nurturing both and love both equally. The band is great in socialization, and give me the incentive to create in many facilities---not just oil. ALso the dealing with the band has been a great experience for me, as they give me a lot of respect as the driving force. I am very content right now.

I feel bad my friend would not let himself drop his guard while we were drawing the other day. I can't account for peoples sensitivities,as I can account for my own most of the time.
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Jan. 7th, 2008 @ 01:35 pm (no subject)
Hi Gavin--

I became a huge fan of your work while surfing the Internet one night. I live out in California, so unfortunately I haven't had an opportunity to see your works live and in person. I was wondering whether you had any giclees of Hugenot Trail still available. I was also wondering how a fan could purchase some of your original work.

Thanks.

xxxxxxx
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Dec. 18th, 2007 @ 07:12 pm I'm back!
Another inspiring letter about my teaching:

hi gavin,
I just wanted to thank you one more time,with maybe a few more words.
Your class has been an amazing experience, i feel i have grown as an
artist and as a person. I feel like I have reached a new level with
myself of controlling of the media and the ability to express myself
freely.
Even though I didnt always seem the most responsive, you got through
my shell and into my head.
I was amazed by your energy since the first day of class and even more
amazed later to see that you never really seem to stop. I love it. It
really helped me push myself forward, especially once you were in my
head and full of endless energy even when im painting at home.
thank you.
it has been a pleasure.=)

hope you have a wonderful and inspiring break.

Parsons Painting 2007 Student
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Sep. 8th, 2007 @ 09:09 am Very nice e-mail from one of my summer students...
Hi Gavin!

How's everything? Did you have a wonderful summer after all??
It was really nice for me to go back to Korea and spend rest of the summer
with my family.
I just finished writing apps...reading summer books... and making
slides.....
and all these things reminded me of Parsons and you.:) (it is so
random........)
Somehow, summer at Parsons seems so long ago.
But I just wanted to say that (may be because I wasnt able to go to the
last class....) thank you to you-. I used lots of techniques that i learned
from you even after I came back to Korea. And it was really really great
that I could experience 'parsons' with such a good people in the class! AND
I HAD SO MUCH FUN!! :D I would never experience the same things that I
did in Parsons.
I wish I went to the last class and said good-bye to everyone...!
well, I hope everything goes well with you! please let me know how was
your summer and how you have been! :)


ps: I hope it is not too late for you to remember the little chiese
girl!!! ;)


best,
Yoon =)
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Aug. 14th, 2007 @ 04:07 pm (no subject)
Great day painting outside for the first time in about a month. Went to the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens -- wonderful weather and a completed painting in 4 hours!
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Jul. 12th, 2007 @ 05:43 pm (no subject)
I'm teaching all month long at Parsons -- drawing AND painting -- leaves little or no time in studio for the month of July.It's stressful not being able to paint but rewarding seeing the outcome of the students work. It also recharges my batteries, inspiring me to do a new body of work.
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Jul. 6th, 2007 @ 04:27 pm (no subject)
Today I took my class to the Met. They are a good group of kids, I 'm having a great time giving them my knowledge of art.

Parsons is a wonderful experience for a student.

Today I found a lot of people out and about to be unsavory in attitude. A guard kept telling me not to take photo's when I was clearly not even looking or holding my camera. She also tells me I cannot lecture, that she has seen me lecturing and I have to stop or leave -- I told her to look away and she won't see nothing...

Another guard tells me he needs room in the elevator and cannot take the rest of my class because ' He likes his space.' He's working in an ELEVATOR! Space??? Weird.

Another guy on a bike yells at me as he passes by 'An easy target...', so I said back; 'Nope, you are...' of course he stops and starts saying 'FUCK YOU', several times, all I could say is --- 'Why are you yelling at people on the street?'.
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Jul. 3rd, 2007 @ 08:01 am (no subject)
I'm currently teaching the Summer Intensive Study course over at Parsons, my 4th year doing so. I have mixed emotions before I begin. The first day lecture is always so much talking, so much of me. I like when we get rolling in a studio environment, where my expectations diminish and I am able to communicate through rather than from.

Last years class was so fun, so much character and life to the kids ( most of them) that this year I am afraid will fail in comparison. I have an open mind and wish to see how they do today. I'ts 8 am and I'm off to class.
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May. 22nd, 2007 @ 08:53 am (no subject)
Tuesday is a long day for me at the studio. Some days I spend reading through e-mails and perusing the internet in search of venues or interesting artists -- all the while listening to XM radio. I have 4 xm units, all of which went down yesterday -- annoying. I'm used to my productivity with chatter in the background and now I'm forced to listen to music, whcih I love but makes me want to create music which I have little time for, since I am a painter.

I want to do music full time, would love to see the outcome of that sacrifice though I know it to be a pipe dream as the painting has taken so long to develop, it would take an equal amount of time for the music to reach that level. I keep recording and feel it getting stronger but fear age and time are not on my side. Regardless, I keep playing and reading and writing.

It's hard enough being a visual poet, writing is another beast all together. Then there is singing in key with melody, and the music I make is all about angst and melody has little to do with the process. I find I am screaming in monotone -- not feeling it as I once did or know I could.

I like action/movement as much as inactivity. I am bothered by hangers on and people who do not have it together in life, have been there and don't like the reminder. Giving advice can be a sordid affair with the listener needy, ready to get more info, the talker expounding ideas inherent to a personal ideal...

Life keeps on going, moving onward past the point you visualize. I do not want to stop creating.



Today I am painting ALL DAY. I will NOT MAKE MUSIC. I will FINISH THESE PAINTINGS AND GET THEM TO THE GALLERY! I am sick of this body of work, need to move onto new things I feel a self portrait is in order.
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